Words are Powerful; Are Yours Empowering or Destroying?

Our words are powerful! The power of our words is stronger than many of us know and understand. Did you know that God spoke the world, as we know it, into existence? Have you ever thought that your words have the power to build up or to destroy? Did you know that as you speak death over someone, it has negative power over them?

Would an Apple Experiment be able to Illustrate That Our Words are Powerful

My husband and I had heard a lot about the power of words and thoughts from our mentors. We had even seen many studies that Dr. Masaru Emote had done with rice and water on the power of words and thoughts. I don’t know all the details or methodology of his work, but the pictures were unbelievable. One day, I saw a picture on Facebook of a similar study. This study involved an apple. 

I thought would be a fun experiment for my kids and I to try. I didn’t know if it would work or not. However, I figured an apple was easy enough to sacrifice in order to see if our words were powerful. (We’ve actually done it a couple times, now, because it is such a powerful reminder of our words.)

How we did the experiment

We cut an apple in half and put each half in a jar. We labeled one jar “Good” and the other “Bad”, and set them a couple feet apart from each other on our counter. As a homeschooling family, we have learned much about the scientific method and the importance of only changing one variable at a time during an experiment. We tried to keep all variables to the experiment the same except for how we talked to each piece. The jars were the same, and I cleaned them the same way before putting each half in. We also made sure to keep each jar out of direct sunlight and tried to make sure their locations on the counters were similar environments.

Unfortunately, after we got everything set up, my 4 year old son shook the “Good” apple because he wanted to play with it. It started a bit more brown and bruised than the “Bad” apple. Since it was the good apple, I left it to see what would happen.

Every time we walked into the kitchen, we would tell the “Good” apple how wonderful, ripe, crisp, and juicy it was. We would try to say as many good things about it that we could come up with. We would also give the “Bad” apple just as much attention and tell it how moldy, rotten, gross, and disgusting it was. At first, it was really hard for us to come up with bad qualities for the apple, but we figured it out.

Was This Going to Work?

After the first couple days, I was a bit nervous. The “Good” apple was looking pretty brown and beat up from being shaken, but the “Bad” apple looked terrific. I was really hoping this experiment wouldn’t explode in my face, since I was trying to prove to my kids why words are so important. After two weeks, the “bad” apple was starting to get a little bit of fuzz on it, and the “Good” one was actually starting to look better. I definitely didn’t expect it to start looking better.

At the end of 3 weeks, the “Good” apple was firm, and looked a little brown, but not too bad. (We didn’t taste it, but were amazed at how firm it was.) The “Bad” apple, on the other hand, was covered in mold, and was squishy and rotten when we dumped it out.

That experiment ended up being an incredibly powerful visual for my kids on the importance of our words and that our words are powerful. We try to be intentional about what we say, and try to speak life into every situation. Our goal as a family is to build people up instead of tearing them down.

“For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.””

Matthew 12:37 HCSB

Our Words Can Empower Our Marriages

Marriage can be hard at times, and we go through times where we are frustrated or annoyed with our spouses. Again, in those moments of frustration, it’s easy to say things you don’t mean. Two of the biggest examples I see of this in marriage is talking about your spouse as a ball and chain, or by joking about divorcing if they do this or that.

When we talk about our spouse as a ball and chain, it makes us think of them as someone that is holding us back from being fun or doing something we want to do. That puts us in a negative thought process towards them, and makes them feel unappreciated. In my marriage, I am always trying to find ways to empower and build up my husband. I wouldn’t want to hold him back in any way. My goal is for him to think that I’m amazing, and help him accomplish his goals and purpose in life. I don’t want to cut him down and hold him back from anything that God is calling him to do. I’ve found that when I intentionally focus on finding something new each day to compliment him on, or encourage him in, our marriage thrives.

“The tongue of the wise makes knowledge attractive, but the mouth of fools blurts out foolishness.”

Proverbs 15:2 HCSB

We wanted as solid of a marriage as we could build

When people joke or threaten to divorce their spouse in various situations, it plants that seed in their minds. This causes the marriage to not quite be as solid as it is designed to be. When my husband and I first got married, I remember saying something to him one time that involved the word divorce. I didn’t mean that I wanted it to happen at all, I just knew that I heard people joke or threaten it in various situations. Since I had heard it often, I thought that was normal for spouses to do.

I remember him sitting me down, looking me in the eye, and telling me that he found using that word to be one of the most offensive things I could say to him in our marriage. He said he was committed to me and not going anywhere. Although we may have arguments and have to work on things, we’re in it forever. He said that if I threaten that, it makes it an option. He didn’t want to have a marriage where divorce was an option. I didn’t either. So, I made a decision to start watching what I said and not say things that I didn’t mean or didn’t really want to happen. That was my first introduction on my journey of discovering that words are powerful.

Our Words Can Empower Our Kids

I try to always speak the good qualities I see in my kids. Even after an especially trying day, I try to tell them how amazing they are and what their positive qualities are. I tell them how sweet and kind they are, or whatever true characteristics I see in them. One of my kids is very determined, opinionated, and does not like to hear the word no. I often remind myself, out loud, what a great leader my husband and I are developing in that strong willed child.

We also try to teach our kids that their decisions do not define them. It doesn’t matter whether they had a day full of good or bad choices.  I remind them that they are the amazing person that God created them to be. If they had a day full of bad decisions, they can start tomorrow by making good decisions, instead. Just because they didn’t behave the way we would have preferred, doesn’t mean they are bad. It just means they made a bad choice, and they have the power to make better decisions tomorrow.

Parents’ Words are Powerful over their children

I hear many parents say things to their kids about how crabby/dramatic/bad they are, or how they are from the devil, or what troublemakers they are. It makes me cringe to think what they are really saying over their kids and their relationship with their child. They may think they are being funny or don’t think their words matter.

Unfortunately, that child believes the words of their parents and acts according to their parent’s expectations. For me, my parents always expected me to do well in school and be successful in life. I worked really hard to live up to that expectation. However, there was also a time that my dad mentioned that I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. (I had misheard/misunderstood that he was talking about himself not me, but didn’t find that out until many years later.) I was in show choir at the time, but refused to sing solos after that point. For many years, I wouldn’t sing in front of people because I was so self conscious of it.

“A soothing tongue [speaking words that build up and encourage] is a tree of life, But a perversive tongue [speaking words that overwhelm and depress] crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 15:4 AMP

Most people will act in a way that reflects your expectation of them. So, I have high expectations of my kids and expect the best out of them. I want to empower my kids with good self images. Their peers and others around them will do enough to discourage them. I want to be a safe place to build them up and remind them of who they really are called to be.

Is That What You Really Want?

One of our friends was constantly saying negative things that she didn’t really want to happen. Her husband understood that words are powerful and started asking her, “Is that really what you want?” after every thing she would say. By asking if that’s really what she wants, it made her realize how much she was saying that she didn’t really want to happen. There are a couple times that I’ll say something that I don’t really mean and catch it pretty quickly by saying, “I don’t really mean that, I mean ___.” For example, there’s times that my kids are doing something dangerous, and I’ll accidentally say, “You’re going to fall.” That’s not what I really want to happen, so I’ll change it to, “Be careful. Please don’t fall,” or “Get down now!” depending on the situation.

Out of annoyance over something, it is easy to say things that we don’t mean. Another friend was really annoyed by a dog and wished it “would just die.” Unfortunately, a few days later, it did. Of course she did not really mean what she said. She only said it because she was annoyed at the time, but it is so easy to say things you don’t mean out of frustration. Unfortunately, even if it could have been coincidence, she still feels guilty.

“but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. We praise our Lord and Father with it, and we curse men who are made in God’s likeness with it. Praising and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers, these things should not be this way.”

James 3:8-10 HCSB

How I’ve Changed Some Things to Be Sure I’m Saying What I Mean

There’s many other every day phrases that say things we don’t really mean. If we stop and become intentional before speaking, it may change a lot of the way we phrase things. I’ve stopped saying, “That drives me crazy.” I don’t really want to go crazy. I’ve also stopped saying, “You scared me to death.” I don’t want to be scared to death, so I’ve replaced it with, “You REALLY scared me.” It may sound weird to people, but I’d rather focus on empowering and building people up in all situations, than speaking death over anyone including myself. 

As we saw in the apple experiment, our words have power. The bible even has many places where it tells us about the power of our words. If we can speak to an apple and make it rotten or juicy after 3 weeks, we have power over our situations and the people around us. We can’t just say whatever we want and have it happen, but our words influence the atmosphere around us. I want the people around me to have sweet, ripe lives, not moldy, rotten lives.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.”

Proverbs 18:21 AMP

What thoughts came to mind as you were reading this article? Do you have any phrases you say often that you may need to change?