How to Trust God to be Your Defender

The text message from my best friend felt like a punch to the gut. After fifteen years of friendship, she was accusing me of things that went so against my character; I couldn’t believe she’d accept them as true. A new person had entered her life and told her horrible things about me. I was very saddened that she would believe those lies over my character that she saw all those years.

I desperately wanted to defend myself. I wanted to sit down with her, explain my side, make her see the truth. But my Bible teacher stopped me with words that would echo through my life for years to come: “If you defend yourself, God will no longer be able to defend you. His ways of defending us are so much better than anything we could do ourselves.”

When I Finally Understood

I obeyed, but I didn’t truly understand—not until one day when my kids were beginning to fight.

I heard them starting to argue, but I paused to see if they were going to work it out on their own. Just as I was about to step in and mediate, my younger son hit his brother. This saddened me. Before the punch, I planned to only punish the instigator.

I had heard and seen the whole situation. Unfortunately, the younger one didn’t wait for my timing but took matters into his own hands. He then needed to also face consequences for his actions.

In that moment, I realized I was like my son—ready to throw a punch in my own defense rather than trusting my Father to handle the situation.

The Pattern Intensified

This lesson has continued to surface in bigger and stronger ways in my life. Last year, my daughter and I faced vile accusations about us, our character, and our intentions. It was rattling, especially since this grown adult tried to drag my child into the mix by texting my daughter hateful accusations out of nowhere. This teacher had no idea what she was talking about and made up an entire story about us and the situation.

I badly wanted to take this vile message to the news or social media and ruin her business, out of spite and vengeance. I restrained myself and remembered my Bible teacher’s voice, the example of my kids, and this passage from the Word:

Now Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus said, “You have said so.” But when he was accused by the chief priests and elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate said to him, “Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?” But he gave him no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed. (Matthew 27:11-14)

Jesus’s Ultimate Example

When you realize that Jesus’s life was on the line and he did not defend himself, it takes it to a whole new level.

He did not defend his character. He did not try to save his life. Honestly, God did not prevent his death by defending him. However, God used this evil treatment for the benefit of all who followed Jesus for all of eternity. Whether it was in this life on earth or not, Jesus not defending himself ended up saving all mankind.

Do I think my not defending myself will save all of mankind? No. But I don’t have to live with any guilt by taking vengeance on someone. No matter how much you think it’ll help, it just makes you more callous.

From Failing Tests to Building Character

I used to think that because these attacks kept resurfacing—each time more intense than the last—I was somehow failing God’s test. That if I just handled it better, prayed harder, or had more faith, they would stop.

But this morning, the Lord reminded me of Jesus’s own words: “You will be hated for my namesake.” (Matthew 10:22)

Suddenly, I understood. These weren’t tests I was failing—they were training I was receiving. God wasn’t allowing these attacks because I needed to learn to handle them perfectly. He was using them to develop the character within me that my calling requires. If I’m going to help people and point them to Jesus, there will be haters, misunderstandings, and criticism. I can’t run away every time someone misunderstands or lies about me. I can’t let it wreck my emotions or derail my purpose.

The apostle Peter wrote: “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation” (1 Peter 2:12). And later: “For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:20-23).

What I’ve Learned About Trusting God as My Defender

If you, also, are dealing with injustice or attacks against you, here are the things that I have found helpful:

I pray for those attacking me. It usually looks simple, something like, “Lord, please bless so-and-so and their family. I pray they come to know you better.” The enemy hates when we bless those who curse us. Often the mental replays hit me when I’m laying awake at night—those moments when resentment and the “what I should have said” thoughts try to take over my mind. In those moments, I just pray for them until I fall asleep. I pray any blessings I can think of. Every single time I do this, the mental attacks calm down.

I hand them over to the Lord. When the thoughts return, I remind my mind that I am not in control of those people or the situation, but God is, so it needs to be taken up with Him. We have to learn that we cannot control others. There’s actually a lot I can’t control in this world, nor do I want to. So we have to let go of that control and trust that the Lord can and will handle it.

I trust that the Lord will lead me through. I trust the Lord to judge fairly as 1 Peter 2:23 says, leaving my case “in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.” If the vindication does not come in this life, the Lord has a reason for it, and I have to trust that reason. Maybe it has a much higher purpose than I can even imagine, for God’s brain is so infinitely bigger than mine, and I cannot pretend to understand all things.

I don’t know when—or if—vindication will come in this lifetime. I hope that the truth and light is revealed, though I don’t think in any of these situations that has been the case yet. But I do know that “no weapon formed against me shall prosper” (Isaiah 54:17), and that God keeps track of every tear. One day, He will make all things right. Until then, I choose to let Him be my defender.

It still gives me comfort to remember this promise, and to know that when we are on the receiving end of injustice, we don’t have to fight our own battles. God promises that one day He will bring about justice. He’s tracking our tears and will one day make it right.